There is so much to like in this chapter. I am really enjoying Kees’ grounded perspective, especially with being unimpressed by the fireworks.
The glimpses into the deeper lore of the world are definitely reeling me in, specifically the antibiotics.
And the paragraph where the rest of the party are introduced just really works. A lot of times, too many names can come too fast, we may just kind of gloss over it, right? But this introduction was great. I was already curious about them, I am as the reader also waiting for them, and then the short but vivid descriptions set each of them apart and give me an identifier to remember them by.
So, now I’m curious about each of them, and invested in all ten to varying degrees.
Thank you so much for this insightful comment, it not only means a lot to me, but it’s also immensely useful as a writer, being able to see what hit home and how the reading process proceeds.
I love the things you’ve picked up on—for example, the names, this is something I worked hard on for, as you say, a list of characters is so easy to gloss over, but also an essential part of a tale. The introduction of names can be done well, or it can seem irrelevant, so I’m very glad you liked this.
Likewise, the deeper lore—nothing in this story is wasted! I am deliberately seeking to build the foundations of a series of stories here, although I am also trying to make each tale self-contained where possible. There are also, however, little hints of things to come…
There is so much to like in this chapter. I am really enjoying Kees’ grounded perspective, especially with being unimpressed by the fireworks.
The glimpses into the deeper lore of the world are definitely reeling me in, specifically the antibiotics.
And the paragraph where the rest of the party are introduced just really works. A lot of times, too many names can come too fast, we may just kind of gloss over it, right? But this introduction was great. I was already curious about them, I am as the reader also waiting for them, and then the short but vivid descriptions set each of them apart and give me an identifier to remember them by.
So, now I’m curious about each of them, and invested in all ten to varying degrees.
Thank you so much for this insightful comment, it not only means a lot to me, but it’s also immensely useful as a writer, being able to see what hit home and how the reading process proceeds.
I love the things you’ve picked up on—for example, the names, this is something I worked hard on for, as you say, a list of characters is so easy to gloss over, but also an essential part of a tale. The introduction of names can be done well, or it can seem irrelevant, so I’m very glad you liked this.
Likewise, the deeper lore—nothing in this story is wasted! I am deliberately seeking to build the foundations of a series of stories here, although I am also trying to make each tale self-contained where possible. There are also, however, little hints of things to come…