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Michael R. Chandler's avatar

I was not ready for the start of this chapter!

I was just thinking about how much I wanted to learn more about the entire party, and while Vivika was certainly not the character I was the most invested in or curious about, this line did give me a bit of a feeling of my stomach dropping:

“At first glance it looked as though Vivika had drifted off to sleep during her watch.”

I do really like this (sorry, Vivika) though. Now I am not only invested in the rest, but worried for them as well.

This had me laughing: “‘What is it? Baby?' Bab sounded on the verge of losing it.”

This line landed for me, I really like it: “Why make friends, when friends could die as easily as enemies? Best to be alone.”

I also *loved* this line: “In this world, Kees knew, it did not take long to move on from a sudden death. It seemed about eighty miles would do it.”

I think the last section of this chapter is also something to be very proud of. I was completely engrossed in that exposition, and it didn’t lose me even for a second. I love having it be filtered through Kees’ perspective, I am really glad to hear Vivika described as the real deal, and desperately curious about everyone else.

Can I share a wild hunch? I think Estel is *not* a fake. Can’t wait to find out.

I’m very attached to Babs right now as well. And more than a little scared for his well being.

This story is getting better and better!

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Jim Melvin's avatar

Strong writing. Active, action-packed sentences. Lively dialogue. Well done!

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