I've been thinking a lot about limits recently, there are days when I feel so saturated by obligation I know longer know what my own current affairs look like or sound like or worse even still, feel like. You write, "There are limits to the communities our human species finds bearable" and I agree, especially for those of us living lives away from our families,(I believe we chose to do this for a reason, whether conscious or otherwise) those of us who are entirely independent, surviving purely on our own resources, those of us who are by nature solitary.
I could speak mountains about time... I'll spare you that though, I know you Know!
This too..."Hope, and what it means to each and every one of us, is a thing which is malleable, it can change, it can alter its form to fit with the capacity it finds within us as our seasons wax and wane." Yes, hell yes! Learning to understand hope, as opposed to dreams or optimism is vital - I'm learning!
Take care my friend, your snowy photos are enviable, here we are buried in browns and greys! x
Thank you, and sorry it has taken me so long to reply--I'm slowly getting there!
The idea of limits is something I think about, a lot. How we are told one thing by upbringing and society and government, but actually there is no 'one size fits all' way to, well, live. I know this is something you have direct experience of, too, and I can't help but feel hope that, by sharing our stories, sharing our ideas, we can introduce or strengthen the concept in others. Such is the wonder of the internet (another thing I often consider, how the internet is taken for granted now, but it is so very young, still).
Hope is such a tricky thing, and directly addressing it from a personal perspective is, as you say, utterly vital! It is a constant learning curve, but one which bears real fruit, I feel.
Thanks again for your words, I really appreciate you.
Thank you for this thoughtful post. I often wonder the same thing, about writing and everything else I do. In the face of all that’s unraveling, all the suffering — it feels at times insensitive or irresponsible to keep doing my thing. Yet who am I to question my soul’s calling? I have to remember I can’t see the bigger picture. I’m also fascinated by hope. (My Substack’s original name was Building Hope.) People mix it up with optimism, but it’s a different and more powerful force. I look forward to reading your thoughts on it.
Thank you. Everything you say here I agree with. It can be hard to talk about this subject, especially with those who believe we have to stay connected, up to date, and abreast of all the horror in the world. To me, however, that is not healthy and feels like I am somehow lessening my life. Better to actually live and breathe and wonder and how remarkable it all is. Hope is a big part of that and, as you so rightly say, not the same as optimism at all, but something we need to keep working on, feeding with joy, and then spinning out into the world, a thread of gold among the dross. There is nothing insensitive or irresponsible about living a life, no matter what we are told--it took me a long time to realise this, however, and to realise that horror and misery will continue whether or not I read about it daily. Better to be strong and capable of sharing the good in the world, something I know you do so well.
Thanks again (and again, thank you for your patience with my late replies!).
Very much agree with this sentiment! Interestingly, it is something I was thinking about recently, as I closed my instagram and FB account (or tried to, in the case of the latter--they are not making it easy!). In the past, when I've done similar in other spaces, I've always announced it, with a 'find me here' post to make it simpler for people to, well, find me. Yet no one really ever does! Better, therefore, to simply and quietly close things down--although it knocks the ego a little, I do find no one really notices. And, after all, I've now had this letter for more than five years, so they've had plenty of time to sign up if they had wished.
Thanks for your comment, apologies it has taken me so long to say thank you.
Hey Alex, I hear you. This is an excellent thought-provoking piece and it deserves a proper read and a well-drafted response. I’m flitting about from thing to thing this morning so I’ll try and remember to come back to it. Suffice to say, for now, love your thoughts on (our personal) current affairs. Putting our attention on those things is life; it’s not at the expense of those affected by global happenings … it is focus, sanity, our stuff in this messy thing called life. I applaud your ability to concentrate on your world. It’s an echo to the way we try to live. Control what we can control. Have a great weekend.
Yes! What you say about careful placement of attention is exactly it. It isn't at the expense of those affected by the horror and cruelty of others, but a shift in how we can actually do good, in how we can go forward when everything seems to be trying to hold us back. The best place to start with that is the self and, as you mention, control what we can control. By spiralling down into the pit of media (over) consumption, we help no one but the moguls and superrich, and their pet politicians. Thank you for your words.
Our brains cannot cope with such misery and horror in the eternal fashion it is now dealt to them—we are doing a disservice, not only to ourselves, but also to those wronged, if we lose our ability to keep doing the good work, simply because of overexposure and burnout, or emotional fatigue. In fact, it is precisely in the bleakest times that we must delve deeply into our souls or minds or hearts or all of them at once in order to find there and produce all those words of hope, paintings of beauty, sculptures of order, melodies of harmony and love... A heavy weight creativity is needed to counterbalance the chaos and horror. Thank you for your thought provoking piece!
Thank you so much for these words and sorry it has taken me so long to reply. What you say is exactly it, we cannot cope with this diet of misery, and it is essential we build ourselves, in order to move forward in a creative and productive manner. I think too many people mistake selfcare for selfishness when, of course, the opposite is true. One of my favourite things about Substack is that it makes finding like-minded people so much easier, those who take the time to read, and think, and then share their own thoughts--that is not to be take for granted and gifts strength at a moment when it is needed most. I believe that we as a species will eventually move beyond this current shift in our way of being (probably with further and worse hardship and misery to come), to a better manner of living which encompasses not only other humankind, but nature and all around us. Imagining these future places is perhaps the first step towards achieving them. Thanks again for your words, I really appreciate them.
Maybe thanks can go to the unsubscriber ejit. Your message of hope and focusing on the positives in life resonates so strongly. I too barely notice the news, it’s not that I don’t care, it’s more that I don’t want to be manipulated by greedy newspaper moguls, who obscenely support whatever, or whoever will line their pockets and create false headlines. There are some wonderful, inspiring journalists on this platform if news is wanted, free from the manipulators, journalists posing and trying to answer some genuine questions. However, top of my reading list is a writer called Alexander M Crow, sitting at a round table with some other wonderful, inspiring, motivating and most of all kind people. Thank you!
Thanks Sarah, I really love this comment and I'm so sorry it has taken so long to reply. You are right, about the wealth of real journalists here, who actually report and hold people and institutions to account. This is what we need, right now, and having a space for them to do so is vastly important. I think there is a balance to be struck, one where we focus on keeping ourselves strong and whole, whilst also trying to share what matters and, sometimes, what matters is just how remarkable that lichen is, or the sound of the waterfall flush with snowmelt, or the post-winter awakening of the birdssong. These are real and how they strengthen our minds and souls is crucial to being able to push forward with doing good work, work which matters and, hopefully, makes others think (for me, as I say, this can be either fiction or non-fiction, but it is mostly through words and a bit of photography). Change for the better can become all the more visible if we keep ourselves strong.
And thank you, again, for your own kind words. Knowing you are here reading, and that there is that wonderful round table as you say, is a deep source of strength in and of itself. Thanks.
I’m going to spend the day ruminating on your take of current affairs, and how to focus on my own current affairs rather than those of the larger, mostly imcomprehensible world out there. I’ve felt for months like I need to step back from reading the news, trying to keep up with FB friends, etc. and your essay is making me see things in a different light, which is, I feel, the best part of an essay. So well done, thank you.
Thank you so very much for these words, I think the issue is certainly one which is affecting more and more people. The perceived need to 'keep up', whether with the news, or what our friends are doing all the time, is exhausting and often results in little but wasted time and negative feelings. I remember when I stopped posting on FB, or liking or commenting on the posts of others, a long time ago now, how I had expected family and friends to worry that something was wrong with me, send me messages to check I was okay, etc. They didn't, and they probably hadn't even noticed. This was humbling and a bit of an ego check but, the more I thought about it, the more it made sense. I have my letter (this one!) and email, should I wish to be in touch, and the idea of constantly feeding into the cycle of social media simply makes me feel a bit queasy now! Remove the news and we suddenly have a considerable chunk of time back, time which can be used to develop the self, whether through hobbies or reading about interests, or for actually seeing people (whether face-to-face or via a video call). We have the technology to stay as connected as we need to be, but we don't need to use ALL the technology. Or something like that!
Thanks again, I hope you are finding balance in your own focus. I still see enough of the news (via eg Notes) to know that, if I were on the sites or watching it, I'd be relatively paralysed right now.
Sorry for not responding sooner, I'm catching up now!
I too had that moment of “oh, no one noticed I’m off FB” but it turns out those were casual friends for the part, friends of convenience without the deeper ties to make the relationship last. The ones who did notice, or reach out, were people I had before FB or had developed past the need for FB (although we met their originally, I was in an awesome trailer-based FB group). I’ve worked on staying in touch, with scheduled phone calls or facetime calls (I do put things in my calendar now that I’m old and forgetful) and at the end of a call, we agree to touch base in xx weeks so we stay in contact.
And I’ve started, although it’s a bit hard, to take a day a week and do no news at all. Last Saturday, I did hand sewing while watching old movies on TV. I caught the last half of Singing in the Rain, which I’d never seen, and thoroughly enjoyed it. And at the end of the day, I felt refreshed, not worn down and dragged out by news. I think I’ll do it every week, or at least try to.
I think making that break from drowning in the misery and horror of the news is a vital part of actually being strong enough to try and do good in the world. I am finding that, even here on Substack, there is still enough news to know what is actually happening in the world.
As to what I plan to address, I think the underlying theme might well involve concentrating more on active hope, on looking at futures few might want, and finding hope still. All wrapped in a glorious blanket of nature observation and thoughts.
Thank for subscribing, and for the comments you have already shared.
Sadly, I suspect that will only continue. Change—good change—is always a difficult thing, and there are always those who try to profit from inequality and cruelty. Still, I’m actively hopeful, and I do think we’ll ride out the storm, even though it will likely be much, much darker first.
I've been thinking a lot about limits recently, there are days when I feel so saturated by obligation I know longer know what my own current affairs look like or sound like or worse even still, feel like. You write, "There are limits to the communities our human species finds bearable" and I agree, especially for those of us living lives away from our families,(I believe we chose to do this for a reason, whether conscious or otherwise) those of us who are entirely independent, surviving purely on our own resources, those of us who are by nature solitary.
I could speak mountains about time... I'll spare you that though, I know you Know!
This too..."Hope, and what it means to each and every one of us, is a thing which is malleable, it can change, it can alter its form to fit with the capacity it finds within us as our seasons wax and wane." Yes, hell yes! Learning to understand hope, as opposed to dreams or optimism is vital - I'm learning!
Take care my friend, your snowy photos are enviable, here we are buried in browns and greys! x
Thank you, and sorry it has taken me so long to reply--I'm slowly getting there!
The idea of limits is something I think about, a lot. How we are told one thing by upbringing and society and government, but actually there is no 'one size fits all' way to, well, live. I know this is something you have direct experience of, too, and I can't help but feel hope that, by sharing our stories, sharing our ideas, we can introduce or strengthen the concept in others. Such is the wonder of the internet (another thing I often consider, how the internet is taken for granted now, but it is so very young, still).
Hope is such a tricky thing, and directly addressing it from a personal perspective is, as you say, utterly vital! It is a constant learning curve, but one which bears real fruit, I feel.
Thanks again for your words, I really appreciate you.
Thank you for this thoughtful post. I often wonder the same thing, about writing and everything else I do. In the face of all that’s unraveling, all the suffering — it feels at times insensitive or irresponsible to keep doing my thing. Yet who am I to question my soul’s calling? I have to remember I can’t see the bigger picture. I’m also fascinated by hope. (My Substack’s original name was Building Hope.) People mix it up with optimism, but it’s a different and more powerful force. I look forward to reading your thoughts on it.
Thank you. Everything you say here I agree with. It can be hard to talk about this subject, especially with those who believe we have to stay connected, up to date, and abreast of all the horror in the world. To me, however, that is not healthy and feels like I am somehow lessening my life. Better to actually live and breathe and wonder and how remarkable it all is. Hope is a big part of that and, as you so rightly say, not the same as optimism at all, but something we need to keep working on, feeding with joy, and then spinning out into the world, a thread of gold among the dross. There is nothing insensitive or irresponsible about living a life, no matter what we are told--it took me a long time to realise this, however, and to realise that horror and misery will continue whether or not I read about it daily. Better to be strong and capable of sharing the good in the world, something I know you do so well.
Thanks again (and again, thank you for your patience with my late replies!).
As you point out, there's an unsubscribe button at the bottom of every email. A newsletter is not an airport -- departures don't have to be announced!
Very much agree with this sentiment! Interestingly, it is something I was thinking about recently, as I closed my instagram and FB account (or tried to, in the case of the latter--they are not making it easy!). In the past, when I've done similar in other spaces, I've always announced it, with a 'find me here' post to make it simpler for people to, well, find me. Yet no one really ever does! Better, therefore, to simply and quietly close things down--although it knocks the ego a little, I do find no one really notices. And, after all, I've now had this letter for more than five years, so they've had plenty of time to sign up if they had wished.
Thanks for your comment, apologies it has taken me so long to say thank you.
Hey Alex, I hear you. This is an excellent thought-provoking piece and it deserves a proper read and a well-drafted response. I’m flitting about from thing to thing this morning so I’ll try and remember to come back to it. Suffice to say, for now, love your thoughts on (our personal) current affairs. Putting our attention on those things is life; it’s not at the expense of those affected by global happenings … it is focus, sanity, our stuff in this messy thing called life. I applaud your ability to concentrate on your world. It’s an echo to the way we try to live. Control what we can control. Have a great weekend.
Yes! What you say about careful placement of attention is exactly it. It isn't at the expense of those affected by the horror and cruelty of others, but a shift in how we can actually do good, in how we can go forward when everything seems to be trying to hold us back. The best place to start with that is the self and, as you mention, control what we can control. By spiralling down into the pit of media (over) consumption, we help no one but the moguls and superrich, and their pet politicians. Thank you for your words.
Our brains cannot cope with such misery and horror in the eternal fashion it is now dealt to them—we are doing a disservice, not only to ourselves, but also to those wronged, if we lose our ability to keep doing the good work, simply because of overexposure and burnout, or emotional fatigue. In fact, it is precisely in the bleakest times that we must delve deeply into our souls or minds or hearts or all of them at once in order to find there and produce all those words of hope, paintings of beauty, sculptures of order, melodies of harmony and love... A heavy weight creativity is needed to counterbalance the chaos and horror. Thank you for your thought provoking piece!
Thank you so much for these words and sorry it has taken me so long to reply. What you say is exactly it, we cannot cope with this diet of misery, and it is essential we build ourselves, in order to move forward in a creative and productive manner. I think too many people mistake selfcare for selfishness when, of course, the opposite is true. One of my favourite things about Substack is that it makes finding like-minded people so much easier, those who take the time to read, and think, and then share their own thoughts--that is not to be take for granted and gifts strength at a moment when it is needed most. I believe that we as a species will eventually move beyond this current shift in our way of being (probably with further and worse hardship and misery to come), to a better manner of living which encompasses not only other humankind, but nature and all around us. Imagining these future places is perhaps the first step towards achieving them. Thanks again for your words, I really appreciate them.
Maybe thanks can go to the unsubscriber ejit. Your message of hope and focusing on the positives in life resonates so strongly. I too barely notice the news, it’s not that I don’t care, it’s more that I don’t want to be manipulated by greedy newspaper moguls, who obscenely support whatever, or whoever will line their pockets and create false headlines. There are some wonderful, inspiring journalists on this platform if news is wanted, free from the manipulators, journalists posing and trying to answer some genuine questions. However, top of my reading list is a writer called Alexander M Crow, sitting at a round table with some other wonderful, inspiring, motivating and most of all kind people. Thank you!
Thanks Sarah, I really love this comment and I'm so sorry it has taken so long to reply. You are right, about the wealth of real journalists here, who actually report and hold people and institutions to account. This is what we need, right now, and having a space for them to do so is vastly important. I think there is a balance to be struck, one where we focus on keeping ourselves strong and whole, whilst also trying to share what matters and, sometimes, what matters is just how remarkable that lichen is, or the sound of the waterfall flush with snowmelt, or the post-winter awakening of the birdssong. These are real and how they strengthen our minds and souls is crucial to being able to push forward with doing good work, work which matters and, hopefully, makes others think (for me, as I say, this can be either fiction or non-fiction, but it is mostly through words and a bit of photography). Change for the better can become all the more visible if we keep ourselves strong.
And thank you, again, for your own kind words. Knowing you are here reading, and that there is that wonderful round table as you say, is a deep source of strength in and of itself. Thanks.
I’m going to spend the day ruminating on your take of current affairs, and how to focus on my own current affairs rather than those of the larger, mostly imcomprehensible world out there. I’ve felt for months like I need to step back from reading the news, trying to keep up with FB friends, etc. and your essay is making me see things in a different light, which is, I feel, the best part of an essay. So well done, thank you.
Thank you so very much for these words, I think the issue is certainly one which is affecting more and more people. The perceived need to 'keep up', whether with the news, or what our friends are doing all the time, is exhausting and often results in little but wasted time and negative feelings. I remember when I stopped posting on FB, or liking or commenting on the posts of others, a long time ago now, how I had expected family and friends to worry that something was wrong with me, send me messages to check I was okay, etc. They didn't, and they probably hadn't even noticed. This was humbling and a bit of an ego check but, the more I thought about it, the more it made sense. I have my letter (this one!) and email, should I wish to be in touch, and the idea of constantly feeding into the cycle of social media simply makes me feel a bit queasy now! Remove the news and we suddenly have a considerable chunk of time back, time which can be used to develop the self, whether through hobbies or reading about interests, or for actually seeing people (whether face-to-face or via a video call). We have the technology to stay as connected as we need to be, but we don't need to use ALL the technology. Or something like that!
Thanks again, I hope you are finding balance in your own focus. I still see enough of the news (via eg Notes) to know that, if I were on the sites or watching it, I'd be relatively paralysed right now.
Sorry for not responding sooner, I'm catching up now!
Alex
I too had that moment of “oh, no one noticed I’m off FB” but it turns out those were casual friends for the part, friends of convenience without the deeper ties to make the relationship last. The ones who did notice, or reach out, were people I had before FB or had developed past the need for FB (although we met their originally, I was in an awesome trailer-based FB group). I’ve worked on staying in touch, with scheduled phone calls or facetime calls (I do put things in my calendar now that I’m old and forgetful) and at the end of a call, we agree to touch base in xx weeks so we stay in contact.
And I’ve started, although it’s a bit hard, to take a day a week and do no news at all. Last Saturday, I did hand sewing while watching old movies on TV. I caught the last half of Singing in the Rain, which I’d never seen, and thoroughly enjoyed it. And at the end of the day, I felt refreshed, not worn down and dragged out by news. I think I’ll do it every week, or at least try to.
You have reminded me not to be dragged back into ‘consuming’ news.
I have subscribed so I can read about what you plan to address this year.
I think making that break from drowning in the misery and horror of the news is a vital part of actually being strong enough to try and do good in the world. I am finding that, even here on Substack, there is still enough news to know what is actually happening in the world.
As to what I plan to address, I think the underlying theme might well involve concentrating more on active hope, on looking at futures few might want, and finding hope still. All wrapped in a glorious blanket of nature observation and thoughts.
Thank for subscribing, and for the comments you have already shared.
And since I made that comment the news has become more horrible by the day!
Sadly, I suspect that will only continue. Change—good change—is always a difficult thing, and there are always those who try to profit from inequality and cruelty. Still, I’m actively hopeful, and I do think we’ll ride out the storm, even though it will likely be much, much darker first.